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Top 100 Priest Jokes: Why did the priest go to the gym? He wanted to exercise his "faith" muscles! What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law! Why did the priest carry a pencil and paper? He wanted to "draw" people closer to God! How do priests stay cool in the summer? They use their "pray-per" fans!
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are debating who is the best at their job. They decide to each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. After a week, they meet up again. The priest, looking a bit roughed up, says, "I found a bear by the river and started talking to him about the Lord.
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Hilarious Catholic Priest Jokes curated just for you, like: What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common? They both give kids a little head.
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"How dare you! I am a man. upvote downvote report This joke may contain profanity. 🤔 I am over 18 A priest hooks a huge fish A priest hooks a huge fish Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!". "Hey, mind your language!" says the priest.
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Conclusion: Best Catholic Priest Jokes: Holy Water Balloon: Why did the Catholic priest carry a water balloon to church? In case he needed to perform a "holy water balloon fight" during the sermon! Speeding Confession: Why did the Catholic priest become a race car driver? He could confess sins at lightning speed!
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1. The curate and the Mountebank A priest is in the confessional and a penitent goes. -You're not from this parish, are you? I haven't seen you before. -No, Father, I'm a circus artist who just arrived. -And what do you do in the circus? -I am mountebank. -And what is that? -Wait for a demonstration.
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Rest assured that the vast majority will focus on the various hilarious situations a priest may find himself in. Please keep in mind that all the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun. At the end of the day, the vast majority of priests are some of the best people you can know. *** Great priest joke: the priest's parrots ***
Funny Pun Joke What do you call a priest that a lawyer A father
The rabbi says, "I am very transparent. I always take the offering and throw it in the air. God takes whatever he wants and whatever he does not want falls back down on me." What do we call a priest that becomes a lawyer? Father-in-law. Why are catholic priests called fathers? It is too suspicious to call them dad.
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by Jay January 18, 2022 Priest jokes are often considered to be dirty or offensive for their off-color content. They are usually told in a teasing manner by children about priests, nuns, and other religious figures. Some adults tell priest jokes in an effort to be funny while others do it to make fun of religion.
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"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest "There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!" The priest shakes his head "Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says "Follow me, Ill take you to the. Why are catholic priests called father?
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A list of puns related to "Priests" The rabbit says "I think I'm a typo". 👍︎ 💬︎ 👤︎ u/AshamedTurtwig 📅︎ 🚨︎ A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit. 👍︎ 💬︎ 👤︎ 📅︎ 🚨︎ Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest 👤︎ 🚨︎ 👤︎ 🚨︎
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152 priest jokes and hilarious priest puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about priest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. No profession is entirely exempted from the reach of humor, not even the solemn world of priesthood.
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The best priest jokes A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!"
Funny Joke of the Day A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard
Yo mama so silly, she thought that the lord would not forgive her sins! A man goes to confession and he says: "Father, I am assailed by evil thoughts.". "We're all assailed by evil thoughts." says the priest. "It's the human condition. It's only a sin if you entertain them.". "Well, they rather entertain me.".
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Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Priest. (Priest who?) Priest open the door, I've come to bless your new home! What do you get when you cross a priest with a dressmaker? Someone that cries "Be gown, Satin!" Did you hear about the priest who gave his congregation noodles instead of wafers for communion? He was a Ramen Catholic.
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"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During world war II, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."